Navigating the World Today
"They read our work to understand what is going on in the world." ~~Walter Mosely, author
Mr. Mosley's statement has resonated with me for weeks as the world changes daily.
I am just Sue; your neighbor, your friend. Like many, I am a wife, a mother, a grandmother. Throughout my career, as a criminologist, people have reached out to me to make sense of the chaos they are seeing in front of them. They don’t know what to do, life is not going well. They call me because they have fear for themselves and for those they love.
Here we are today, witnessing and experiencing unprecedented fear or uncertainty. Fear and uncertainty have been an emotional repartee throughout my career. No one is ever calling me because they are having a good day. So now, like everyone is trying to understand the world.
How do we help our children and loved ones make sense of the world around us when we are trying to reconcile this ourselves? I have thought about this a lot lately. With all the recent changes, coming faster than we can process, how do we navigate what is best for our children, our families? How do we maintain our jobs with the uncertainty surrounding us now? It is easy to get caught up in the frenetic energy that appears all around us. So, how do we bring this chaos to a calmer, safer, more productive place? How do we respond?
First, we must work very diligently to stay grounded and rooted. This is not easy and takes conscious thought. We firmly plant ourselves, and see what is in front of us with clear eyes. Only then can we feel what is around us. We can be attuned to reality and not let it absorb our core, because if we do, we cannot be effective. Frenetic energy will hinder our ability to think and process. That does not mean we are not aware of everything happening around us. It means we will process what we see, hold what is important and discard the rest.
The children still have to be fed, educated, and parented. We still have to work, go grocery shopping, and pay bills. We cannot surround ourselves solely with frenetic energy. Compassionately, we understand this comes from fear. For many, they are unable to articulate this fear with specificity. They feel a permeation of doom. We cannot allow ourselves to ruminate in that pool.
For example, it is concerning that schools are closing. How this impacts you and your family is vital. How do you move forward and create a plan? Ruminating about the problem without a plan to move forward creates anxiety. A plan offers some potential control.
In these unprecedented times, there are a few things this criminologist would ask you to consider, as I have lived my professional life in a state of high intensity:
Stand with like-minded people to move forward in a healthy way; thus reducing extra anxiety. Some of our neighbors live as ostriches with their head's perpetually in the sand and act surprised by the stories catching headlines today affect those in our community. Their offers to pray for those affected do little and feel condescending. Once this change hits their wallets, they sit up and take notice.
Children and young adults are looking at the elders to offer guidance, support, and calm, even if we don't know the answers. Show them how to navigate, be a role model. Don't add more hysteria to an already charged situation.
Live your truth, your authenticity, be open to what is happening to those around you.
If you are in a state of 'frenzy' you cannot think and make good decisions. Dig deep to maintain your composure, core values, and principles.
Listen to what people are saying, not what you want to hear.
Talk to our children because their nervous systems are being over stimulated, causing more anxiety. Turn off all those screens for a few hours a day, so everyone can restore some calm.
Be educated, learn about people, about cultures and understand that we are all just trying to get through the day in these turbulent times.
What does balance look like for you? For me, it is nature; animals and mountains. I listen to music, be it soothing or invigorating. I workout and make sure I eat clean ‘most’ of the time to not further tax my body. I laugh, even when filled with fear. I have learned to compartmentalize, you must try to do that when you are around children.
Stay as strong as you can mentally, physically, and spiritually in whatever way this applies to you.
When your mind is more relaxed, you can find empowerment even if you are not able to change all that is around you. Control what you can.
Do not watch the news all day. Do not ruminate unproductively in conversation. Constructive conversations include plans to maintain.
Most important, take a moment to be still, regain your calm and strength for the children around you, no matter their age. They are looking to us.
As I attempt to make sense of the world around me, I am reminded of one of my spirit animals; "The Bear", an animal of strength, courage, calm, and bravery.
AUTHOR
Susan Magestro, thirty-five year criminologist, interventionist, international presenter, teacher, and university instructor, is now writing, presenting, and consulting . A former newspaper columnist and author, she is excited to be merging two passions: criminology & writing. You can reach Susan at sulamaestra@gmail.com or www.susanmagestro.com